Pushing My Buttons

Let me tell ya, kids these days...

Kids these days try everything they can to push their limits. Kids are always fascinated with bad words because it's their chance to rebel. They know they can be mischievous by just using a simple word choice, and they love it.

I was babysitting when I overheard the kids talking in the other room. They were gathered around playing leggos. The youngest kid said,

"Damn it, you knocked over my damn building. You better fix it or I'm going to beat your ass."

They didn't know I was at the door so I walked in and asked,

"What did you just say?"

The kids looked so scared that I almost laughed. The kid answered me.

"I didn't say anything."

He argued with me so long I was almost questioning if I had just heard him say that. Did I really just hear what I thought I just heard?

The next week I was over there he decided he was going to try to test me out even more. I was sitting with them while they did their homework. The kid looked at me and said,

"What in the ell, my teacher was an itch today."

Once again, I asked him what he said and he repeated himself like it was no big deal! Back in time out he went. Trying to take the first letters away from bad words won't work with me. Brats.

Sincerely,

The Bad Babysitter

Like Father Like Son

Let me tell ya, kids these days...

Kids these days are ridiculously sassy. My nephew looks identical to my brother, acts just like my brother, and talks just like my brother. You could say his dad is his idol. I came over to babysit and my brother was about to go hunting. My nephew starts following him out the door. He hollers back at me,

"Hey big girl, how bout you cook up some hot dinner we'll be back with a big buck."

The kid is only 4 years old! He is a walking, talking clone of my brother.

Over the summer we were all packed in the car to leave for Florida for a family vacation. My brother gets in a silly fight with his wife. He goes inside and says he isn't going. My nephew hops out of the car and goes inside too. He comes right back out, grabs his blankey, and says

"I'm staying with my dad."

He then puts his thumb in his mouth and stomps off.

I was babysitting another time through the summer and we were all sitting out back. I was watching the kids play as I munch on all their popsicles. My nephew pulls up to his little sister and her friend in a little Barbie jeep. He had the Barbie radio playing and puts on his Spiderman sunglasses and says,

“Hey pretty ladies, you need a ride?"

Kids can say the funniest things. But if they misbehave they won't listen to me. The only way I can get my nephew to listen is if I threaten to call his dad. Kids just don't mind me.

Sincerely,

The Bad Babysitter

"Play" fighting

Let me tell ya, kids these days...

Kids these days are wild and violent. I was babysitting one day and the little boy, Nolan, asked me if him and his brother Levi could play WWE. Truthfully, I wasn't paying attention to them at all, so I just said yes. It wasn't even five minutes later and I was running into the living room after hearing screaming. Nolan was up on the couch about to jump and elbow slam little Levi into the ground.

Obviously these young boys believed the WWE fighting they were watching was real. Before I knew it, Levi was running to get a chair that I'm sure he intended on smashing over his brother's head. Thankfully, he couldn't lift it. I started to find it amusing so I took a seat and watched. They weren't just playing WWE either, they went all out. They had masks and ridiculous outfits to go with it.

The fighting always ends up in one kid hurt and crying. But I just wait for it. I don't get paid enough to break up professional, miniature fighters anyways.

Sincerely,

The Bad Babysitter

Growing Up Too Fast

Let me tell ya, kids these days...

Kids these days are growing up way faster than what they used to. I babysat a ten year old girl, Chelsy, that I thought was 14 or 15. For a whole month I was completely convinced she was older.

I came over to visit and she's talking and texting on her cell phone. She was even doin her hair and nails. I was looking at her thinking, no one is texting me and I don't even curl my hair. She asked me to help her pick out an outfit for school the next day. We picked out a cute Abercrombie sweatshirt, straight legs, and a pair of Uggs.

When I found out she was only 10 years old I was shocked. Since when do 10 year olds have iPhones, shop at Abercrombie, and own authentic Uggs when I can only afford the knock offs?! So what, this 10 year old is cooler than me. Must be all the hormones they pack in fast food these days that make little, innocent girls look like teenagers.

We even became friends after awhile, maybe because she acted older than her age. She asked me to help her with her homework. I was thinking, yea sure, this will be cake, 3rd grade math. Well, I was completely wrong. Turns out that all that hard math I went through in high school and all my use on some fancy calculator wouldn't come in handy for simple long division. I tried helping her and she didn't do so well on the assignment. Ooops.

Sincerely,

The Bad Babysitter

Halloween Candy

Let me tell ya, kids these days...

Kids these days are out of control, they lack discipline and manners. That is the exact reason why babysitters should get a raise. I mean come on, we have to deal with complete brats!

My favorite time of the year to babysit is right after Halloween. The parents leave and tell me the kids can't have sugar or they will be up all night, so no candy or soda. But as soon as they leave I set the kids down.

"Now you little twerps listen to me, we are going to go on a scavenger hunt to find the Halloween candy. I'll share with you on one condition, you can’t tell anyone."

Sometimes the whole candy gig gets the kids to like me but the parents don't. After I leave the kids they keep getting into the stash. The parents find another hiding spot...until I come back again. In the mean time the candy keeps dwindling and the parents have to keep moving its location after I've babysat.

If you can't pay me more money the least you can offer is your kids Halloween candy.

Sincerely,

The Bad Babysitter